The good news…I’m happy to announce that for the first time in five years I’m enrolled in classes!  I’ll be attending a community college for the time being to take what few basic courses I have left and then I’ll go from there.  If we’re still living in Virginia by the time I’m done  then I’d like to attend Christopher Newport University, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

To address this pesky issue of choosing a major I’ve been instead focusing on graduate programs rather than undergrad.  Its a difficult market out there and a masters degree is a big advantage.  I’ve really been focusing on political science and…..wait for it, law.  I know it seems like it came out of left-field, but when I began researching history and poli/sci degrees I found that many of them go on to study law.  I’m without a doubt absolutely certain that I don’t want to teach, ever (!), but I really don’t want to see my education go to waste.  After a little digging I actually found some concentrations of law I think I’d be really interested in, International and national security, human and civil rights, and constitutional.  I also think I’d love, LOVE to be a political advisor.  I would never be bored, of that I’m certain!  Keep in mind I’m still just playing with my options, I have yet to start classes, but I’m very interested to see where this goes!

And now, I’m going to talk about a subject that strikes more fear and uncertainty to my very core than anything I’ve ever been faced with .  Children.  So many woman struggled and fought and campaigned so that they, and their daughters, and their daughters’ daughters could have the rights of men.  No longer do women have to stay at home and exist for the express purpose of passing on the genes of their husband and tend to his needs.  Because of everything that so many women have done, most of whom I will never even read or know about,  I can vote.  I can buy property, I can go to college and hold a career, and I can make a name for myself.  I’m very aware of the fact that I can do what so many women who lived and died before me could not, and for that I am forever and eternally grateful.  That being said…. I don’t know if we can “have it all.”  At least not without consequence.  By that I mean it almost seems as though a woman has to chose between a career or a family.  Woman do both everyday, I know, but it seems that something has to be sacrificed.  If you want to focus more on your career, you don’t have as much time for your family.  If you want to make raising your children priority one, you can’t give 100% to your job.  So this is my dilemma…what do I want to sacrifice?  It such a huge decision and I can never seem to find the right answer.  I’m certain I want to have kids.  I’m 28 and happily married for 4 and a half years.  But I still have many years of college in front of me, neither my husband nor I have finished college, and even though we are much better off  than we were 4 years ago we still aren’t at the level I would feel comfortable with financially to have a child.  Bottom line is that now is not the right time to start a family.   The problem is when we are done with school (and I’m not even including grad school here) and  have the financial security we need I will be in my early 30s.  Thats when I’ve told myself I want to have children.  It seems all fine and well, but in deciding that I wanted children I’ve always  known that I’d rather be at home with them while they are young, if possible.  If I spend the next three years completing my bachelors and then have a baby I won’t be working.  Which means T will have to cover my student loans until our tots are in school and I can go to work.  It almost seems pointless to go to school just so that I can have a baby when I’m done.  And then if I want to pursue my masters thats less time I will have for a family.  It may seem ridiculous, but this issue has been a big source of stress for me for about the last year.  Although I feel better just writing it out, I’m really no closer to figuring out what I want.  Aren’t these things supposed to work themselves out?  Either way, more posts to come…and all about school!  Hooray! (?)